How My Evolving Art Practice Reflects a Change in How I Live

I was caring about something too much, and it was holding me back.

“Transitions” (self portrait) 2022

I was caring too much about what other people think, and that was creating loud, uncomfortable, almost deafening chatter in my head. I wanted so badly to grow and mature as an artist, but what if my style became unrecognizable as part of this evolution? What if someone notices the shifts and changes in my visual representation of the world I see and actually questions me? Would I be prepared to defend my choices? What if I make lousy art? What if? What if? What if I fail at this?

Harsh.

Like so many of us, I spent much of my life in fight or flight without fully realizing it. There have always been expectations, always something to prove, always too much to do, and never enough time. I wasn’t even really sure who was doing the judging.

Yet all this time, what I craved was the opposite: time, space, contentment, and a real sense of sovereignty over my days AND my thoughts. Fewer rules. Less chatter.

“Unearthing” 2023

So I’ve consciously and consistently slowed down to better understand that misalignment. And my art practice has been evolving alongside me. Slowly.

Over the past year, I’ve meditated daily — a challenging but rewarding practice of self-love. I’ve been learning to notice my inner voices: the ones that rush, the ones that doubt, the ones that push for too much at once and then judge with no mercy. I’ve learned to listen without immediately reacting, to let those voices pass without giving them an assumed leading role. That simple act of noticing has quietly reshaped how I move through my days, what I prioritize, and who I allow in my life.

That same attention has made its way into my work. I’m trying not to overthink, but just to paint and notice when the internal narrator tries to distract or sabotage the experience with thoughts of outcome, deadlines, or other people’s opinions.

Quick, intuitive brushwork still has a place in my practice but it is now accompanied by more carefully considered technique — more layers, more depth. It’s an allowing: to slow down, to play and experiment, and to fail once in a while. As a result, the work feels quieter, kinder, more intentional, and well earned.

My subject matter has shifted as well. Lately I’ve been drawn to honoring the stable, consistent beauty right in front of me and within reach — an heirloom, an everyday object, a scene that brings me awe.

“Blue and White Vase” 2026

This evolution in my work isn’t about abandoning who I was before. It’s about giving myself permission to be here now as I am.